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The Mindful Self-Express. All of this can lead to feeling bad about yourself and expecting to fail, which leads to more self-sabotage to avoid facing failure head-on, which perpetuates the cycle. Below are some of the ways in which you may sabotage yourself and suggestions for what to do instead.

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There are many reasons for self-sabotage, but three of the most important ones involve your thinking patterns, fears you may have in intimate relationships, and the tendency to avoid things that are difficult or uncomfortable. Read on to find out more. Our human brains tend to be wired to cling to the familiar, to overestimate risk, and to avoid trying new approaches.

5 Steps to Bust Self-Sabotage and Stop Blocking Your Opportunities | DOYOUYOGA

This tendency, known as the familiarity heuristic, leads us to overvalue the things we know and undervalue things that are unfamiliar. And when we are under stress, we tend to rely on the familiarity heuristic even more. We are drawn to go with the familiar, even when a different option offers a clear advantage.

In one study, researchers asked subjects to do a complicated word puzzle. One group performed under time pressure, while the other was told to take as much time as they needed. The group who performed under more stressful conditions time pressure were more likely to choose the longer puzzle, even though this would put them at a disadvantage.

It's not always easy to tell when your brain is relying on a heuristic. Fear of intimacy or fear of rejection. We all know people who sabotage relationships when they reach a certain level of intimacy. Some people cheat, others pick fights or get controlling to push the person away, still others reveal all their insecurities or become too needy and clingy.

These are all unconscious ways in which our brains fear getting trapped or rejected if we get too close. Many of these patterns are based on childhood relationships with caregivers. If your fear of intimacy or rejection is strong, it is better to mindfully allow your insecure or fearful feelings to be there, while actively working to find healthy, mature ways of talking about them, rather than running away or pushing people away.

You need to remind yourself that you are an adult now and have a much greater capacity to tolerate stress and rejection and to take care of yourself than you did as a child. Also remind yourself of what you have to gain by staying engaged. Try to be more self-aware and to notice the effects of your behavior patterns on your relationship happiness. Procrastination and avoidance. A third way you may self-sabotage is by not dealing with problems until they get so big that you are forced to deal with them.

Or not being able to discipline yourself to get work done on time. There are several potential reasons for procrastinating and avoiding. You may never have learned the skills to break tasks up into smaller pieces, or you may be too tired to plan out a schedule for doing the work. Self-sabotaging by not getting started, staying up too late, or going out with friends or watching television instead of working is a very common pattern. In the short term, you manage to avoid the discomfort of an anxiety -provoking or boring and unrewarding task.

Stop Sabotaging Your Life

All of these tendencies tend to have an anxiety component. You can counteract them by giving yourself a time limit to choose or by allowing yourself to make an imperfect choice. It helps to see yourself as being able to learn from experience and improve over time. Procrastination and avoidance as well as addictive behavior can also be ways of not taking responsibility for your actions. These behaviors allow you to blame outside factors, like not having enough time, if you do poorly, rather than admitting your role in not using your time well.

Some of us fear success, because we shun the limelight or fear that others will expect more from us than we can deliver. Then look for ways to replace old patterns with new ones that are more helpful in achieving your goals.

How to Stop Sabotaging Your Life with @BrunoLoGreco

At first, we may need to learn to change our behavior by avoiding certain triggers such as negative people or challenging circumstances that cause us to react in unfavorable ways. If there is a stressful situation that triggers you to react in a negative way, look for ways to bypass or deflect while you learn healthy ways of handling the situation.


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Then take steps to meet those goals, so you accomplish your objectives and build self-confidence. The unknown can make us feel off-kilter and on unsure footing. Instead of moving forward with confidence, we respond to situations negatively. We allow ourselves to crumble, and then we retreat, feeling incompetent and incapable. The best way to counter this is to lay down solid plans and goals for the future. Entrepreneur Media, Inc. In order to understand how people use our site generally, and to create more valuable experiences for you, we may collect data about your use of this site both directly and through our partners.

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Success Strategies 8 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Success The world will put countless obstacles in your path but none will be as big as the ones you create for yourself. Next Article -- shares Add to Queue. Image credit: Natalie Faye Getty Images. Deep Patel. VIP Contributor.

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